Feel like you have a thousand tabs open in your brain, don’t know where that nursery rhyme is coming from, and there’s a tab somewhere calling “mom” constantly but you can’t find it to turn it off?
All of us mommas have been there.
As an early childhood educator, I learned that sensory overload is a real thing with little ones. As an introvert and teacher back then I felt it too. The bright lights in the classroom used to get to me, the loud noises, hearing “teacher” a hundred times per day, and feeling like there was just too much information in my head to get out. But after around 8 hours with the littles per day, I sent them home. Little did I know how much the overstimulation could be escalated as a new mom. After all, it’s a 24/7 job.
Different moms struggle with different seasons of motherhood. I did well in the baby phase but once our daughter hit toddlerhood the overstimulation got real and fast!
As a highly sensitive parent, I was not sure what to do. I needed more quiet time but how would I get it? I felt like I had little to no help since our daughter just wanted to be with me. It felt like my nervous system was on high alert and no amount of deep breaths was going to change that.
What Is Overstimulation
We experience overstimulation or sensory overload when our 5 senses are working hard to take everything in around us. There is auditory overstimulation when our world is just feeling too noisy think screaming kids and loud toys. We can experience visual overstimulation, emotional, and mental. Even strong smells can push our senses over the edge, uh poopy diapers.
When there are extra stressful situations hello toddler tantrums! We can even feel overstimulated when our clothes are uncomfortable. Signs of overstimulation can vary from person to person but can include not sleeping well, headaches, mom rage, and just feeling burned out and like you cannot go on.
This post is not meant as medical advice in any way so if the demands of motherhood truly are feeling like more than you can handle please seek professional help and postpartum support if you are in that season.
For my new moms out there experiencing this or my seasoned moms who are just looking for new ways to cope with all the sensory stimuli that come with motherhood, there is hope. Raising children is beautiful but oh so hard. We have to learn to set boundaries appropriately for our mental health. The good news is little things can make a big difference.
When I was teaching I worked to balance both the physical environment of the classroom and the class schedule to create spaces for calm and quiet time. We can do that in our homes and family schedules too and as a highly sensitive mom, it’s a must for me.
The tough news is it doesn’t really go away. There will always be so many things to do and think about as busy moms. The good news is we can learn coping skills that make it so much better. As new challenges come we can look for creative ways to adjust our schedules and environments and make needed lifestyle changes to make everyday life easier.
The Environment
We have multiple articles here at Grace Filled Mom about creating a peaceful home but I’m going to mention it first here because your physical environment can make a huge difference when it comes to feelings of stress and overstimulation.
Now this is not about having to have a white and pure Pinterest-worthy designer home. We have kids that live in our homes. There are toys and books and things we just need in this season. For me as a highly sensitive person that loves organization and cleanliness, I have to let go of perfection and know that our daughter having what she needs in our home to learn and grow is more important than having all things clear. That being said we can still create a much more peaceful environment.
We can:
- Focus on multiple-purpose furniture and items so less is more.
- We can clear out unwanted and unneeded items regularly.
- We can group items in baskets and trays to reduce visual clutter.
- We can use bins to make toys easy to clean up and teach our children to do it.
- We can surround ourselves with nature through plants and natural materials.
Start paying attention to areas of your home where you feel particularly stressed. Think about systems and ways to improve it. Sometimes we just live with things that could be fixed with an easy solution if we stop and think about it. We can also have a room like our bedroom that is off-limits to the children for the most part and creates a little sanctuary when needed.
Check out our HOME category for help with this and be sure to read How Minimalism Helps Moms Beat Overwhelm.
Daily and Weekly Routines
Are there times in your day that feel particularly stressful? For me in our home it’s the hours around dinner before my husband gets home. I’m already a bit burned out from the day with our toddler working and taking care of our home. That’s when I’m the most tired and my patience is running low. I’m often trying to do some bookkeeping, finish up in the office, put away the last of the laundry, and make dinner and it’s when our daughter is starting to get tired and restless and wanting mom to hold her. I found myself being short with her which I didn’t want.
So just like fixing areas of the house that feel the most stressful, we can also think about how we can fix the worst part of the day and reduce the amount of sensory input.
Here’s how I’m currently coping the best- I do some of the dinner prep when I’m making lunch. So if I am chopping something for lunch I go ahead and chop the items needed for dinner. This reduces the amount of time needed for prep later and also the amount of dishes as I can go ahead and clean up when I’m less tired. I have also learned to give our daughter focused attention right before this time so I can enlist her in independent play, I’ll get into that more, while I wrap things up.
Turning on some worship music or doing something together that makes us laugh can also lighten the atmosphere.
Having daily routines and weekly routines can make you and the children feel more at ease knowing mostly how things will run- children and life are never completely predictable but routines do provide a sense of security in busy mom life. Parents of young kids will especially find routines helpful.
- Get outside every day!
- Write, a prayer journal.
- Exercise.
- Eat well.
Hobbies and Self-Care
And while we are on routines let’s not forget about a momma self-care routine! So needed.
Practical self-care can be incorporated into every day. Check this out: Practical Self-Care Tips for Busy Moms
Think about the hobbies you used to love and how you can enjoy them as a family. Maybe you used to love to do pottery. You could take a family pottery class and the children will learn something new. If you love to read you could all snuggle in the bed and read a good book. Give littles some books to look at while you read.
Find new hobbies to try. You could even give yourself a challenge to try a new hobby every month.
And hear this momma, if you are feeling overstimulated and about to lose it make sure your kids are in a safe place and take a much-needed break for some deep breathing. Pray and regain yourself. Notice the warning signs and take action. This can go a long way in preventing that mom rage that we dread so much.
Sleep deprivation is a major cause of overstimulation and big emotions but it can be so hard to get good sleep as moms. Seek help if you need it to get better sleep. Work to reduce your mental load. Turn off that constant pop-up message on your phone. Reduce your social media time and do something restorative instead.
Daily rituals like making a favorite drink can provide calm moments. Just be careful about caffeine as it can make you more stimulated and less calm.
Find Community and Connection
As an introvert the idea of meeting new people and getting out does not thrill me. But I still need it. Having playdates with other moms where we can all keep an eye on the kids, they can play, and we can chat has been good for me even when I don’t look forward to actually going. You realize that other moms are going through the same things even though every child is different and there is this camaraderie. You can get advice, give advice, and maybe just let go of some things by sharing.
Family time and friend time is so important and not everyone has a village to raise their child but there are online groups and many ways to connect now. Even finding a prayer partner can be so helpful.
Having special dates out with our children can help us connect and feel better too. I treasure our mother-daughter dates.
If you are introverted mom overstimulation can have an even stronger effect so check this out: How To Deal With Being An Introvert Mom
Teaching Independence and Responsibility
Of course, we will play with our children and spend focused time with them but independent playtime is so important and good for them and you. Teaching our children to play independently throughout the day helps give us time and space to do the things we need to without constant interruption. They need that uninterrupted time too as play is a child’s most important work.
I know it’s so tempting when we are feeling overstimulated to put our children in front of screens in order to get a break. But screen time often makes the issues worse. It’s noise and it overstimulates our children escalating their negative behaviors. Screen time can work in desperate times but try keeping it to a minimum and see how things improve.
Teaching our children responsibility to help the family unit can also reduce the strain on our sensory system. Once we realize that especially little ones don’t know the difference between housework and play, we can include them in the things we need to get done throughout the day rather than feeling like we need to entertain them all of the time.
Children can help around the house and often love to do it. Yes, it takes longer and won’t be done perfectly but they learn life skills and then you can use the time they are napping to restore or grow rather than to clean and manage.
Our daughter at 2 years old already helps with laundry, feeding the pets, helping in the kitchen washing produce and helping with cooking, and cleaning and she loves it!
Sometimes I just have to set a boundary and ask our daughter to please be quiet for a little while and find her a quiet activity she can do by herself while I keep an eye on her and restore.
At the end of the day what matters is keeping your family working as a team. Have a cup of tea and sit down at your next opportunity and brainstorm what is not working and why you may be feeling overstimulated and ways to fix it. What may help one person may contribute to the overstimulation of another so learn about yourself and your triggers.
You can find a self-care audit here with some questions that may help. You’re a good mom for caring about fixing this sensory overload. Hugs. You’ve got this momma!
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