What To Do When Mothering A Baby Just Feels Too Hard

When mothering a baby is just hard what do you do?

Maybe you have a newborn and you’re sore and swollen amid extreme sleep deprivation and don’t know how you will ever survive. Maybe your baby is months old and you were finally sleeping a bit but now the baby is in a sleep regression and you’re so tired that you can hardly make it through the day. Maybe you just started feeding baby solids and you don’t know how you can possibly deal with that much mess three times a day! Motherhood is the hardest thing. It’s intense for new mothers and even seasoned mothers. 

Maybe your baby just turned one and is crawling at a rapid pace and starting to walk and is so busy and into EVERYTHING! You go to bed and wake up just as tired as you were the night before. 

Babies change all the time and once you think you have it figured out and you’re going to survive, nope another change. It’s a roller coaster! 

But struggling does not mean you are not a good mom. There is no perfect mom out there and fellow moms will tell you that they struggle too if they’re honest. 

Pregnancy, delivery, and then new mom life!

I had a little bit of a challenging natural delivery but I recovered very well. I was helping with our business less than two days postpartum. But here’s the thing…I should not have been. I should have rested. Get the rest you need in the beginning because the lack of sleep does start to catch up with you. If you don’t have a support system it will catch up with you very quickly. 

I felt ok. Like I was getting things done and taking care of our home and baby. But as the baby gets older and sleeps less and explores more things do get harder. We want to thrive as moms not just survive. But sometimes that feels just too hard. Impossible even. Real life with a tiny little human may not look like you expected especially if it is your first baby. That’s ok.   

But there is hope. There is. 

I have put together a list of things that may not be the easiest to do when you’re already exhausted but they really do help even if you do have a lack of support. Your health is important momma. Your babies need you. This is your parenting journey and your children’s childhood. So here are the 10 things that I know make a difference when motherhood feels overwhelming. Smile it’s good news! 

1. Time With The Lord

I had to put this as number one because this is life. 

One of my favorite scriptures is Isaiah 40:31,

“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

Isaiah 40:31

Do you feel like you are going to faint sometimes? The Creator of all has you in His hands. And while we’re in Isaiah 40 how about, 

“He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.”

Isaiah 40:11

He gently leads those with young. I don’t know about you but when life gets busy I can definitely use some gentle leading. 

It takes effort to get up a little earlier or find minutes of peace in the day to spend with the Lord but it is crucial. We can pray throughout the day even during the busiest of times too but sometimes it’s easy to forget. Little reminders like sticky notes or Biblical affirmation cards around the house can help along with playing praise music in the background. 

2. Hydrate Hydrate Hydrate

I know drinking more water is said and said until everyone is tired of hearing about it but really… hydrate! This is even more critical if you are breastfeeding. Being dehydrated can make you feel very tired, hungry, and cranky. How does dehydration make you feel tired?

“Here’s what happens when you’re dehydrated: As dehydration sets in, your blood pressure drops, leading to poor circulation and reduced blood flow to your brain. This causes feelings of sleepiness. You also experience a drop in blood fluid volume — that’s the total amount of fluid in cells including plasma and red and white blood cells. This makes your heart work harder to pump the proper amount of nutrients, oxygen, and fluid to different cells, causing fatigue.”

How Dehydration Can Cause Fatigue

 If you are thirsty it means you are already on the road to dehydration so get a big bottle and drink up throughout the day. Those timed water bottles can help. It may sound weird but the road of motherhood requires that you stay hydrated.  On the days I have my big water bottle close by I drink a lot more throughout the day. It is better to have a steady stream than to drink down several glasses at once. 

3. Focus on better nutrition for long-term energy

It is so tempting to grab something sugary or caffeinated or both-hello chocolate! I’ve done it far more times than I would care to admit. We are seeking fast energy but we know those sugary treats bring a crash and are not good for our long-term health. Focusing on more nutrient-dense foods can keep us full longer and give us more sustained energy. But as busy moms, we don’t have the time to figure out those foods when hungry and drained! 

New mom or seasoned mom, you’ve got to eat well!

If you want to be there for those beautiful moments and truly be present you have to take care of yourself. What has helped me, especially during the newborn stage, is having simple, smaller meals more often throughout the day focusing on balancing macronutrients- carbs, proteins, and fats. The only way I can make it work is to have some things already prepped in the fridge because it saves so much time. Otherwise, I am going to grab some bread or crackers or something to spike my blood sugar. It’s just too easy and tempting. I found this meal prep video helpful and she has a free pdf that goes along with it.

You don’t have to prep the exact same things but watching videos like this helped me figure out how to be better prepared. It is still something I’m working on. I don’t get it done every week and the weeks I don’t I definitely struggle to eat for sustained energy.

More nutrients less sugar and caffeine. 

If you do need a snack think about things that will create sustained energy like a few nuts instead of crackers, bread, or sugary treats. Think strategic, energizing snacks. You need even more nutrients if you are breastfeeding. I’ve found having three meals and two balanced healthy snacks throughout the day really helps. Then I let my system rest and fast at night. 

Sometimes we grab sugar out of boredom or seeking comfort. If it is a real struggle for you I recommend something I completed but want to do regularly and that is the 40-day Sugar Fast by Wendy Speake. It is about taking the focus off of food and putting it on Jesus the only one that can really sustain us. It can bring up uncomfortable feelings but it’s worth it. We want to be the best we can be for our babies and our family. 

Better nutrition can reduce postpartum depression systems too. But get professional help if you need to. This is not professional advice. 

 4. Fit In Movement and Exercise

I know you’re already tired and exercising may seem like the last thing that you want to do but a few minutes of movement- once your doctor clears you after the birth of course- can energize your body and wake your brain up too. It’s not counterproductive after all. A body in motion tends to stay in motion. When we feel tired and plop down on the couch it makes it even harder to get moving again. 

Even a short 7-minute workout can make a huge difference in your day. You can include your baby by finding a mommy and baby workout. And if you can get out with baby, a stroll around the block can do you both a lot of good as fresh air is also powerful for fighting off fatigue. 

5. Find a Way To Make Sleep Work

I’ll admit I am in a season where I am really struggling with this one. Baby is waking me up multiple times per night. But it’s something I’m working on. If you are struggling to get good sleep you can talk to your baby’s pediatrician for advice or someone you trust or take a baby sleep course. This can be the hardest part of being a baby mom. And when exhausted you can feel like a bad mother because you just don’t have the energy to be present. It is something worth working on. 

If it is a worry that is on our minds we can find a way to deal with those things too, seeking to give them to the Lord. I know when I have had many nights of hardly any sleep I just feel like crying and laying like a puddle on the floor. It just feels like my brain is slow and I cannot go on. Even one or two nights of a little better sleep and I feel like I can live again.  

Some of the things we have already talked about can improve sleep like avoiding sugar and caffeine, getting good nutrition, and exercising. Light therapy, hydrotherapy, and other natural treatments can also help. 

Check out 13 Tips To Sleeping Better by Nedley Health

6. Simplify Your Space

This one is huge for me but I think anyone can benefit. I feel like life and motherhood is just so much harder when there are piles of laundry around and too much clutter. Cleaning out and simplifying our physical spaces can have a huge impact on how stressed and overwhelmed we feel. 

I did some cleaning out before the baby and have done some selling and donation hauls a couple of times since. Getting your house clean and clutter free and even moving some furniture around a bit can make you feel new and fresh again. Becoming more minimal is a great way to beat overwhelm as a mom. 

Of course, a clean home does not last long but we can keep it up easier if there is less stuff to manage. One of my favorite YouTube channels to get clean-it-out inspiration is the Minimal Mom. This one will be a continual work in progress for me. 

If it’s toys that are the problem consider a basket rotation system so all the toys are not out at once. Here’s a post on organizing and decluttering Kid’s toys. 

I go into more detail about this in the post Cultivate A Peaceful Home: 9 Ways To Do It Now

7. Delegate AKA Ask for Help

For the strong, independent moms among us, this can be so hard. You’ve heard the saying, it takes a village to raise a child but in the modern world we live in a lot of us don’t have a village. You may be far from your parents. Maybe you don’t currently have a supportive church community to be a part of. There are so many reasons we can feel isolated. You need a support group, your tribe of people whether it’s friends, family, church family, a community center, or a mom group. The first year postpartum can be tough. 

But often there is help out there if we are willing to look and ask for it. Maybe like me, you don’t want to delegate someone else to watch your child. You want to spend time with your baby as much as you can but then we can get help with other things. If you are working from home, taking care of your child, doing the finances, housework, and all the things, it can just be too much.

Can you hire help?

Maybe you could hire someone to clean your house so you can spend time working on your business. Or outsource laundry or business tasks. Or get your groceries delivered. 

If you don’t have the money for those kinds of things, which I completely understand, I’m there right now, is there something you could trade? Or to go back to simplifying your space, you could sell some things you no longer need in your home to get the money for some services that could help. Do a brainstorm and decide what you could outsource that would really make your days easier and find a way to make it work. 

You can also write words of encouragement on sticky notes for yourself and leave them around your house. Write different ones for each stage of motherhood. 

8. Focus on Basic Personal Care

Being able to just take a shower should not feel like a luxury but sometimes it does when you are a baby mom. But taking the time for personal hygiene and care is essential to feel like a human being. No one feels great and like taking over the world with greasy hair while wearing sweats with stains and holes. 

Showering and getting dressed can make a world of difference. You can still wear something comfy that makes you feel more put together. Maybe put on a matching tracksuit and pull your hair into a cute ponytail. Apply some face moisturizer and some lip gloss. You don’t have to go full-on glam. Even little things can change your mood.  

Alyssa has some nice tips on capsule loungewear. And you don’t have to spend a lot. Maybe a trip to your local thrift store is in order for a few comfy but cute and put-together mom pieces that fit whatever your new mom bod is right now. 

I don’t wear jewelry but I like what she said about the little details on loungewear. Zippers and buttons and little add-ons can make the pieces feel a lot more elevated. Scarves and pashminas can also be added to help you feel more put together and they double as great snuggles and nursing covers for baby. Your style may change after becoming a mom so take time to see what you like now and what makes you feel calm but energized and good. 

9. Have A Workable Routine

You do not have to have an hour-by-hour play-by-play kind of strict routine. But having some kind of order to your days can cut the stress significantly. Figure out what works for you if it is theming your days or flexible time blocks, whether it is paper or digital but write it down and work the plan. I tend to use flexible blocks along with a focus/theme which I share in the SAHM Guide.

Write down what you need to do the next day the night before to get things off your mind so you sleep better. Then you wake up knowing what you need to do. Don’t overdo it with your list. Leave time for things that happen. You have a baby after all. They don’t stay on strict schedules. Use a routine to create more freedom not create more stress. 

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Make sure you are setting healthy boundaries for yourself and your family too. Don’t say yes to everything. Remember saying yes to one thing will leave less space for other things so choose wisely. Make sure what you say yes to is in line with your agenda and family, not everyone else’s. 

10. Grace

This may be the most important of all besides time with the Lord. If you have read the SAHM Guide you know this is a big one I talk about but you have to give yourself grace. All these things can help with our mood and our energy but motherhood is hard. It is also beautiful and sacred and amazing. We can give ourselves grace by implementing healthy habits, yes, but also by taking things one day at a time. By giving ourselves more physical space that is calm and also more space in our schedules. By asking for help when we need it and admitting when things are less than perfect. 

Know that your experience of motherhood does not have to be like someone else’s. When hard times come and they will, remember that motherhood is one of the most incredible transformations of a woman. You may need to let go of organic meals, feeling like your life needs to be perfectly balanced, and many other things. When a baby is born it is the birth of a mother too. Give yourself grace. Modern motherhood is hard but it’s always been hard. There are so many great things that come out of hard things. First-time mothers especially find the support you need. And any medical care you need. At the end of the day what is important is to know that motherhood is worth celebrating and it is not for the faint of heart. God’s grace can always bring us through. 

How do you give yourself and your family grace?  Let us know in the comments. You’ve got this momma! I believe in you!