Mom life is hard. And some days are harder than others. But we cannot let the “hard” overtake the beauty and joy of motherhood.
Have you ever had one of those days when you felt like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed and everything went wrong from there? The coffee machine broke, and you got toothpaste on your shirt. The toddler is having a tantrum. The baby is crying. You are tired overwhelmed and unmotivated and the day seems to continue to spiral out of control and maybe you even let out some mom anger and now you feel guilty and like you are ruining your kids on top of everything else.
Whew, Momma! It’s a lot.
Most of us have experienced similar kinds of days. When we have negative feelings and go through stuff. The bad mood can make it feel like the bad stuff just continues.
So what can you do to stop the train wreck and turn things around on a tough day?
It may be time for a mom life reset. And, as it turns out, there are many practical things that we can do the next time we’re having a bad day to reset our households and hopefully put everybody back in a better mood and set things right.
I encourage you to pin and bookmark this post to come back to on those days when things get hard and you need a reminder about what to do. And let me know your top bad-day recovery tips in the comments!
First…
Breathe
No, really I mean it. Excuse yourself from the chaos and take some deep breaths. As busy moms, we cannot think clearly about how to handle things when we are triggered and overwhelmed. If you have little ones, make sure they are in a safe space and remove yourself just for a moment. It’s ok. Yes even if the baby is crying. I know the mom guilt is real but you will only be gone a moment and you will give yourself space to become calm so you can handle the situation.
While you take a very quick breather say a prayer. It can be as simple as Jesus Help.
Once you have composed yourself a moment return and handle anything that needs to be immediately handled. Calm the crying baby, clean up the spill, whatever it is.
Then you can move on to some other steps.
Deep breathing exercises can also calm our nervous system in the long run if we do them regularly.
Know Your Triggers
Take a few minutes to evaluate why this bad day started and seems to be continuing. We often have certain triggers that get repeated. It could be that you woke up late or your little ones woke you up early so you didn’t get the personal time you needed to start the day right.
It could be that there are extra time or financial stressors for the whole family right now. It could be that you are getting burned out and need a break. It could be that you are letting discipline slide until you blow because the children are pushing all your buttons and you are allowing it for far too long.
Maybe you are lonely and need some adult conversation. It could simply be that you are hungry or undernourished. If it’s because you are feeling overwhelmed and behind you may need a reset routine. Self-care routines are important too so think about implementing one.
Do a little evaluation and think of some solutions to fix the triggers and have better days in the future.
Also, look for issues that may have triggered your children too. Are they craving focused attention? Are they overly tired or hungry?
Communicate
Talk with your children about what is going on and apologize if you did lose it and need to apologize. Explain that even a full-grown adult needs a break often. You don’t have to let an incident continue on and ruin the whole day. This one will depend on the age of your children but even toddlers and young kids can often understand if you tell them you are sorry and that we need to calm things down. You can explain to them that sometimes mommy feels sad or overwhelmed and has big feelings too. You can tell them you don’t like how the day is going and ask them to help you change it.
If age-appropriate you can even ask them how they are feeling and what they would like to do to feel better. Show empathy and work to accommodate the needs of both you and your children.
Change Environments
If you are inside, try going outside. If you are at home it may be time to take a walk or go for an outing. Sometimes even just changing rooms within the house can help.
Also, check if your environment is causing triggers. Are there areas of clutter that are increasing stress? Are there ways that you could make things easier for your children to be more independent thus reducing your stress? For instance, you can have their coats and shoes down at their level so they can put them on themselves.
You can also set up areas that better promote independent play. Having some special activities can be a good idea for hard days too. Art or special blocks that they do not get very often. You can keep a bin of special toys and bring them out on days that are feeling difficult.
Enlist your family’s help to create a clean and neat space.
Creating an environment of peace within your home is so important.
Change The Atmosphere
This one is similar to changing your environment but a little different. The atmosphere in your home is also important. Open the windows and let in some fresh air. Turn on some praise music. Light some candles- out of reach of littles of course. Turn on soft lighting if it is dark.
Put your favorite child-safe scent in the diffuser or cook some cinnamon and spices on the stovetop.
Do a prayer walk through your home. Sometimes a bad day is a result of the enemy interfering in your home. Ask the Lord for wisdom about what the causes are and work to change them.
Not sure how to do a prayer walk. Here is a video to help. It is such a blessing. Makes me emotional also. Prayer walks can truly change our homes.
If there are household tasks that you know you would feel better if they were done but you don’t feel motivated set a timer and have your children help and get on it. You could even set a little reward for yourself or your family when it’s done. A cleaner physical environment can make the atmosphere feel a lot better too.
Sometimes we procrastinate on tasks that would take very little time if we just do them. Make it a game. Like, see how much laundry you can fold and put away in 10 minutes. Can you finish the whole pile?!
Laugh And Express Gratitude
Choose a fun activity to do together with whoever is in the house. Dance and sing and play. What usually brings laughter to your family? Now is the time to take a break and have fun together even if no one is feeling it at the moment.
Often a few minutes into something fun and your moods can turn around.
Another thing that can turn moods around is to express gratitude. Start naming things you are thankful for. Go around the house and thank the Lord for all the gifts out loud. And tell each other what you are grateful for about each family member.
Baking together can be a fun activity to try when things are feeling strained. Hard to stay stressed and angry when you are smelling and indulging in a batch of homemade cookies.
Look through a photo album together and enjoy talking about how much your family has grown and changed.
Water activities are another very calming activity that can change things. Maybe bath time needs to be early today.
And if you are up for the challenge momma a cold shower can give a great boost of energy. The cold water can increase blood flow and does great things for your brain helping you feel more alert and even happier. Plus once you face that challenge you will feel more empowered.
You can create a playlist with your favorite song and the favorite song of each family member to listen to and enjoy together.
Do Something For Your Health
Drink some water. Dehydration can make you feel tired and sluggish. Have a healthy smoothie. Make a healthy snack together that has a balance of macronutrients to fuel you.
Get some physical activity. Even a quick 10-minute workout can boost your mood and energy. It can help lower that stress response we may be feeling on a lousy day. That release of endorphins can change our brains. Fun exercise can be a great activity to do as a family to get everyone working together again.
If the weather permits you can take that long walk or bike ride outside or even do sports activities or play ball. Bonus if you can stick your bare feet on the grass. If you are stuck indoors you can search for family exercise videos on YouTube.
If you are not dressed, shower and dress after some exercise. Change the children’s clothes if they are dirty too. Let everyone get fresh.
Pray and Read
Prayer is the thing on this list that can change situations more than anything. Praying is the best thing you can do for your home. Pray as a mom at the heart of your home on a rough day and good days. Try to get quiet time with the Lord to seek His help. Also, pray and read the Bible together. Do a family devotional.
Put scripture cards around your home to read often throughout the day. Write them on mirrors with dry-erase miracles. Leave the Bible open on the table as a reminder to read. Fill your home with the Word of God.
Invite Jesus in.
Journaling your thoughts and feelings in prayer form can be a huge help too. If the children are old enough they can do their own. If the children are smaller you can encourage them to color while you journal.
You can find short, easy devotionals for moms on the blog here.
I found a video from Girl Teach Me that shared a lot of these same tips. It’s nice to be able to watch these things in action. Watch here.
Remember This
Parenting takes a huge amount of resilience. Give yourself space and grace to refuel so you can be the calm your family needs. Spend time with the Lord to allow Him to fill you up. Ask family members to help and make sure others are doing their fair share whenever possible. Celebrate the small victories and look for progress over perfection. Try to build a supportive community around you and your family that you can go to for help as needed. And call a good friend.
Set up your home and schedule to allow space to reduce stress. Make things as simple as you can. Cherish the days that flow better and know that everything including parenting and family life comes in seasons. And if you find yourself in the middle of a bad day stop and hit the reset button. The last thing you want is to go through an entire day feeling grumpy. Little things and a little perspective can make a huge difference in your emotional response like keeping an ongoing gratitude list. Schedule some stress-reducing quality time as a family. Lots of times when we are feeling more stressed and having more bad days we are also disconnected. It is a good idea to keep a list of the simple ways you like to get through tough times. We all have bad days. But we can learn to have more good times than not.
If you need to get back together as a happy family a dinner theme night could be in order too!
On days that do flow better look for things that you can do to make the harder days easier like meal-prepping and decluttering. Help is here.
You’ve got this momma. You can turn the day around with the help of Jesus! And the next day will be better for it.
For every house is builded by some man; but he that built all things is God.
Hebrews 3:4
Let God build the house and you rest in it.
This post is not meant to be professional medical advice. If you need professional help please get it. This does not make you less of a mom.
You’ve got this momma! I believe in you.
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